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We as humans beings have a obligation to ourselves our children an our future to set expectations goals education self respect manners and kindness to raise our children and represent ourselves with a certain standard and respect.
What we do in this life reflects not only our own image but how our kids are raised and how we are viewed and mirrored. We learn by example and what we’re taught.
I have seen people, kids families sleeping on the streets worried about where to go I’ve seen and experienced hunger, homelessness, people freezing to death with no way to get heat.
I’ve had the richest people turn there heads to me and the ones who had nothing give me everything. There have been times I would be trying to fight my way threw life an wished there was someone that would help me. But to find I wasn’t going to have that.
We can house animals, feed them but not our kids families friends. People go threw things in this life make mistakes fall or lose there way It shouldn’t however exclude them to live with no means to function or to be able to shower, have clean drinking water, food, heat or a home. These are things every human need to survive.
I have experienced a lot of things that I cannot explain or take back I’ve seen heard an experienced more than any human should endure the things I thought were right or truthful or that I was taught became wrong hard to understand or explain. In that time I walked many miles hard ones not just walking but evaluation of my life the direction was going what I had done wrong how to make it right who I wanted to become and about the people I had to forgive to take the anger the pain the hurt and rejection out of my life for 11 months I stayed by myself in a room alone questioning my being and at some point had even tried to take my life several times. I wonder how at 9 years old someone can molest a child I wondered again at 11 why I got beaten and had to go to school with black eyes. I wondered again at 13 why my mother defended a child molester in the court of the law and he went free I wondered why no one took up for me I asked myself all the time what was wrong with me that someone could do such things. I wondered why when I got married that they chose to be with other people and why I wasn’t good enough for someone to love.
Deep inside I never could feel satisfied happy but only empty used up lonely and depressed. I had felt like I was pushed into making decisions that wasn’t really mine but a circumstance of being a victim and hurt and disregarded as a human I was told I had a big mouth only because I was a people person happy all the time.
I lost that going through all these things. I have lost homes my car relationships not been able to function to be able to work all of that disappeared because how I felt inside what I had went through it had mentally taken a toll on me especially the last two years.
Just in 2 years alone I have been beaten raped air flighted went homeless been hungry and had no means to feed myself I have walked miles to where I had blisters so bad on my feet I’ve laid down along the road just to rest and would have to get up to do it all over again I’ve cried many many tears prayed harder than I’ve ever have for answers Through all this all I know is how I felt and at one point wanted revenge to all those people who had put me through such horrible things One day I had to make a choice a choice that would reflect on my future my children and what had happened to me. The things that I wanted to do to hurt these people I knew I would never be able to come back from.
I stood in that schoolhouse with one of my friends tears had started to run down my face and my words to him were if I do this I would be no better than the evil that was put on me and I would be the one thing that I hated and at some point someone would come back to revenge me or my family the way I wanted to revenge him.
See everybody loves something whether it be an animal a human or an object they would die for that and well my kids were mine that was my something.
If I had choose that it would come back to my children and that’s the one thing I couldn’t do.
They didn’t make the decision to have bad things happen to them they was born of Innocence love and they didn’t deserve that. They deserved a fighting Chance in life the best that I had to offer teach or show them and I knew me making that choice wasn’t one of them.
You see what I did who I was reflected on them and that’s what people saw them as that would determine their friends society in their life. Even the small things in life.
That day I knew I had to forgive him and everyone who had hurt me.
I knew that at some point it had to stop the cycle an someone had to be the adult the teacher and show people that there’s a better outcome.
I knew it was my job as a parent as a person to know whats right an wrong or would come back to me in life by my choice.
I learn from it and tought my kids to do better if I wanted things to be better.
And when I have needed them the most when these things was happening to me they were one of the 10 people who would help me in two states.
They brought me food gave me a hotel room been there for me and loved me even times that I didn’t deserve it.
It wasn’t their place to do but did anyway. I never wanted that burden to follow my kids or have to help their parent in ways they had.
I wasn’t at that moment able to keep going. I had been beaten down to where I was nothing nobody felt empty an I had nothing to give to anybody.
They pulled me out of the darkest place in my life and gave me life again. I saw the example I set an it was perfect. I had raised them very well.
I saw what they became the jobs they had their homes that they didn’t end up pregnant in high school or a dropout or a drug addict but yet responsible and loving and they cared they reached out when they didn’t have to. They stopped their life and took care of someone who needed love help an support and for them I’m indebted my life.
You see people turn out the way they are because of what they’ve been through what they endured and how tough they had to make their self to fight through it not because we were born that way or because thats the way we are.

I truly believe in my heart that it’s not what we do wrong in life but what we do right and how we fix it that matters.
I was told once “ A person isn’t measured by what he has but what he gives away” I understand that now.
We all have a choice in life and what we do trickles down to the next generation to our kids and who they become. It determines how the next generation leads this world and what we have left to pass on.
We as people have become hurtful wasteful an dont care about one another.
So many things I’ve seen that was thrown away I or someone else could have used to make it easier or helped them survive. I don’t understand it.
I’ve seen most of us would rather see people hurt homeless hungry or in despair than to help them forgive them love them be kind to them or teach them that there’s a better way in life things could change and we can become somebody even if we were raised with nothing or had been through a bad trauma.
I have created “Auruasstar” to be a nonprofit organization to assist our future in a new way of life. It means a beautiful ray of light in the dark. Something I searched for when I was going through my dark place. All I want was a guiding light to lead me to something better. I was one of the lucky ones that made it.
We all need a break a breather or go threw some kind of trauma, pain or just take a wrong direction but if we had a choice or was shown different had a place to rest collect ourselves refresh eat get information or maybe just a breath we could have maybe made different choices.
We could become a better version of what we were. Stop it before we become someone we hated.
See when you go threw “hell” you have to worry about where to go next where to sleep worry about eating staying warm, you don’t get peace.
You stay in the same cycle and nothing gets better You can’t gather thoughts make wise choices but only fear what fate you hold for anything else.
I have a hope a prayer of making a place that provides that for people all over the world to the richest people to the poorest people.
We have natural resources that I wish to incorporate like solar panels fireplaces for heat. I would like to gather disposed of items, clothes, food and recycled products to build a foundation we can start to build from.
You see when I was going through being beaten raped homeless running for my life I had to do it with blisters consuming my feet. When I had to sleep by a creek. An watch water freeze before my eyes, I was hoping and praying needing these things or someone to care enough to support me
I’ve watched people who could’ve helped me turn away, ignore me as of if I was no one drive past me. I’ve also had people who had nothing themselves give me everything.
I lost a brother who I loved very much that couldn’t handle life anymore so he shot himself in his driveway and left three kids behind just to escape the very pain I felt an speak of.
A sister hooked on heroin who went to prison and lost her babies. Sadly it all could have been avoided.
I know how empty and alone I was. I knew I never want no one feel like that or anyone else. Empty an lost.
All I knew was I didn’t have that choice my children depended on me. I couldn’t let my kids see that or feel the pain and loss of one of the one person that was supposed to help guide them in their life. It mattered how they saw me.
I knew it would effect there outcome an they was the three good things I had done right in life an I was proud of them an who they become.
Somehow threw all my life’s tragedies I have managed to still try to wake up everyday an put a smile on my face an see what I can do to help someone because you don’t know what there going through. What they keep bottled up how hard they got it, or even when the last time they have been safe warm feed or had support.
We’re not made to just be on this earth to just take up space but for a purpose, a plan. We were designed to be a reflection of greatness.

It’s time we put God our faith, love community our families, an even friends back together and start caring what happens to our future. We are what make up the definition of this world, good an bad.
We are what’s ruining our world our kids our future generations by who we are as people and choices we make.

Im not perfect by no means I’ve messed up many times done things wrong ive hurt people to but I apologize ask for forgiveness because what I represent who I am as a person and what I do represents me nothing else. I wish to be better tomorrow than yesterday an learn from it.

The world goes around and around and what you do to people will always come back to us. We will have to account for our actions somehow someday.
I know I have been threw a lot an so has my children and I don’t want them or anyone else to be in that position or someone to ever say I didn’t do all I could to fix things or didn’t give everything I had.

Sometimes it’s breath for breath not min to min weather your living in a street or a million dollar home. We all have that day were it’ll be all you can take maybe even fight for your life.

If there was a place that we could go maybe people would have a chance to reflect on the hand there given. There would be a lot less crime, mental health bad choices. But maybe someone’s hope.

We all are going to need someone or something one day so be kind love one another.
Don’t forget that some one else always has it worse than you do. Some people have a voice and some don’t.
I hope I can be that and so much more I hope I can be someone’s sunshine to brighten there life.

**To those people who was there had gave me a shoulder who’d listen fed me gave me a place to rest and was my friend when I had nothing to give them, your what made me come back to life, gave me hope to keep going an keep fighting. ….”I thank you from the bottom of my heart and there will never be words or payment that could ever take the place of what you’ve done for me.
You’ve created the reflection and been the light, an a great beacon in my eye.
You all was what this world needs more of . Your what I want to be an my hope. You have resembled the reflection to my Auruasstar..”

May God bless you and guide you to love peace happiness an all the greatness the world has to offer.

• THANK YOU*