ClownPipe '21–'22 app cycle Class of 2025 class year

Look upon my wisdom, ye applicants, and despair.

Wisdom is sorted by newest to oldest.

Well my dear internet acquaintances, it looks like that’s a wrap. Unless I get off a WL, it looks like I’ll be attending Maryland in the fall. Go Terrapins! - I get an email

• I am excited, am I finally going to finish this never-ending cycle?
• It’s a local pizza place offering me a discount for their new Taco Pizza
• I am upset, but not too upset (pizza is good)
• I put down my phone
• I get an email
• It should not take 5+ months to make a decision on my application AdComs.
• Looking at you UF
• Dear UVA, I will suck your dick if you let me in. On god no cap.
• It should not take 4+ months to make a decision on my application AdComs.
• Employment statistics are a myth we’re all just killing time until the Resource Wars begin and we FINALLY annex Canada
• Pure of Heart
• Dumb of Ass
• Imagine submitting an application in February
• Couldn’t be me
• Step 1: Google “block letters wiki”
• Step 2: Realize the glory of block text writing style
• Step 3: ???
• Step 4: Get admitted to Yale
• I have an unfortunate medical condition that impacts my ability to contribute to LSD. Stage 3 Dumbassery. It’s inoperable and terminal. Alas, woe is Smokepipe. He was so young, and so dumb.
• Fuck this I’m gonna go be a chippendales dude
• I was too hasty! I shall not become a chippendales dancer!
• Dear BU, please explain your decision making process. Not about rejecting me, I get that. No explanation necessary for the fat R. I mean, please explain why take 4 months to come to a decision and then send the email at 4am so that it’s the first thing I see in the morning as a special fuck you.
• ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ literally anything at this point I’m so tired of waiting. Accept me, dong me, just process my application please I’m begging you ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
• Lo, look upon my field in which I lay my admissions decisions, and see that it is barren.
• Waiting is as heavy as a mountain, rejection emails as light as a feather
• hEy gUyS i hAVe 4.0/179 cHaNcE mE?
• What if the real law school application process is the friends we made along the way.
• Dear Admissions Committee, Happy Holidays and whatever. Let me in.
• AdCom: So congratulations on being accepted, we’ll get back to you with scholarship info in about 3-4 weeks.
• Me exactly 0.3 seconds later: where scholly?
• AdCom phone call: So do you have any questions?
• Me: Not really, thank you so much for the call!
• Adcom: Okay great have a good week!
• Call ends
• Me: wait no I have so many questions that I just thought of the second the call ended
• Today’s News: local man literally too anxious to die, more at 11.
• The Eternal Cycle:
• I get a phone call.
• I am excited, is this finally an Admit call?
• “We’ve been trying to reach you about your vehicle’s extended warranty.”
• I scream.
• I get a phone call.
• Look UVA, I’m not getting in. I know it and you know it. We also both know you sent me that fee waiver so you can reject me. Could you please just get on with it already?
• “Apply to schools early,” they said. “You’ll get in sooner and with better chances,” they said. They LIED.
• Under Review really means that your application was half-heartedly tossed from a pile of applications that are really big to a pile that’s just big.
• I love law school admissions waves. I’d really like to be part of one someday.
• Honey, it’s 6 am, time to refresh your status checker every 20 minutes until midnight.
• Yes dear.
• Last night I dreamed that it was August again and I was free of this existential dread.
• I have interviewed with two people who are dead and the head of a department that does not exist.
• I received a 150 on my first LSAT, retook it, and got a 151. Reported score? 301. Checkmate admissions.
• Time has lost all meaning, days, minutes, hours, all lies. Lies we tell ourselves so that the Admissions Committees can do… something… I’m not really sure where I was going with this one but I blame the admissions committees and you can’t convince me otherwise.
• My Aunt has repeatedly asked why I haven’t applied to any schools closer to her. I have not yet told her which schools I am applying to.
• My Grandmother has congratulated me on my decision to go to Med school.
• I have been rejected by two schools I have not applied to.
• My applications have been under review ever since being seen, and also have not yet been submitted.
• I either submitted my applications yesterday or two months ago, and I can’t tell which.